I want to write my pain in a book

Burn its pages one by one

Gather the remains and blow them to the wind…

Let the ashes of pain disappear into thin air

Leaving every living soul unharmed…

I want to plant seeds on that messy ground

Squeeze all the lifeblood from my heart

Until the seeds grow into flowers of bright red

My heart is heavy with sadness that is too hard to bear

In the midst of a field of red

Only tears of blood do my eyes shed

Lost in a whirlwind of burning desire

The sun pierces my soul with intense heat

I burn and burn in the delicious torture of pleasure’s hell

Waiting and waiting for that insane moment of madness

Where desire has no beginning, no boundary and no end…

Let me melt inside of you

Let my heart sleep within your soul

I toss and turn in my lonely bed

Watch the candle flame burn with exhausting patience

How can I be patient with this hurricane inside of me

In the midst of the dark and rainy night

I want to shout and cry out loud

Tear open my chest and pull out my heart

Squeeze it mercilessly in my hands

And carelessly throw it into the ocean

I want you to remember me with pain

Each time you look at the sky

For my spirit is mingled with the blowing wind

And each time a raindrop falls on your cheeks

As you walk alone in the middle of the night

Remember that my lonely spirit still cries and cries and cries

Stuck in the middle of heaven and hell

Trapped with hopeless, miserable and angry souls

It will endlessly cry and cry and cry

Until the fields of red that once fed on my blood

Will fade away and once again become white

Pale and fragile waiting for another spring

Just as my soul that is hung like a dirty shirt in the sky

Waiting and waiting for you to come and cleanse my soul

With the coming of another spring…

©Lara Khatchikian Photography

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